how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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