Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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