i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The adults are the big ones right?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
