Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize