at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
