would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I fill condoms, not promises.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
