What did we do last night that was yellow?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
two words...techno handjob
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Terrible idea I love it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
