Moan for me like Helen Keller
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
