hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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