im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
