I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
