I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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