I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dicks are not precious.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
