Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
even my farts smell like vagina
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
