Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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