My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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