I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
