ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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