remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
