We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
