I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize