This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
