Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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