I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize