You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize