Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were trust falling into bushes
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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