I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
