you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
