Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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