Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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