Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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