I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she smelled like a LAN party
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
