That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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