1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's the barista slut.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
