i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
