Quick, to the slutcave!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
