What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize