do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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