So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize