So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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