she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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