Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
