Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
