Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
