The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
