So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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