i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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