HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
