you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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