no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize