Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
