he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
