If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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