3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Porn is love you can see.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
