Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
