So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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