im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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