There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I understand Curling. That high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
