Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
