I think i peed on brittanys purse
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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