Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
