It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
