Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
