You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
