was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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