Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
