Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Randomize