its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
