I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
