Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
