i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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