All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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